DAY 4 Grieving task 4: ADJUSTING TO AN ENVIRONMENT WITHOUT THE DECEASED

DAY FOUR

Grieving task 4: ADJUSTING TO AN ENVIRONMENT WITHOUT THE DECEASED

 

In advance prepare: Treasure chest / memory box : Collect shoe boxes in the shoe store. Prepare pictures, stickers, postcards, photos to decorate the box (magazines, newspaper clippings: often something about football or another sport should also be included)

For the golden sun, copy sun and smiley on two colors of yellow paper, yellow DMC silk yarn (see example below)

A thought stone, prepare a crystal for each child, for sale in a stone shop or World Shop.

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Meditation - Golden Sun

A sun, as a friend, especially in gloomy times, the sun can warm you. For example, if children have a pain in their stomach, are sad or anxious, they can mentally let the sun shine into the room, which can literally provide relief.

 

What does the golden sun do?..........

It provides light and warmth, and if you sit in it, you can get a tan too. Without light we cannot live. Every person, plant and animal needs the sun. So the sun is actually our friend.

The sun always shines during the day, even when it is cloudy and you cannot see it.

 

Whenever we feel sad or scared, we can place the Golden Sun in our room, school or wherever we are. If you are lying in bed and you are scared or sad, you can also do this, it will make us feel more comfortable.

 

THAT'S WHAT WE'RE GOING TO TRY NOW:

There is a Golden Sun above our heads.

He shines on us, that makes us feel good.

Now we are going to put the sun in our thoughts in the room here. Try it.

Let the Golden Sun grow completely big in the room.

Mmmmmmmm. Nice and warm and peaceful.

 

We leave the sun in the room. That makes us feel better.

Try it at home or at school. And also when it rains. Then you bring the light towards you, even if the weather is gloomy. The sun automatically makes you happy.

 

All the people who are in heaven are also close to the sun and the stars. Did you know that the sun is a star!?

 

   

Memories

In your thoughts and feelings you can go back to the way things used to be. Happy memories and bad memories belong together. They are yours forever. Memories help ensure that someone who is dead never disappears from your life.

Everyone has memories. Even if your father or mother died a long time ago, when you were still small. That memory is often a feeling, somewhere deep inside. And sometimes, because of something you smell, or a sound, or a dream, that feeling suddenly comes back to you.

And then you remember something you thought you had forgotten.

 

 

Missing

 

Which things do you miss about your ………….?

Who could you do these things with now?

What else do you miss now that your ………… is no longer here?

What are you NOT missing?

 

What do you do on his/her birthday?

What do you do on Father's Day / Mother's Day?

What do you do on the day that ……… passed away?

 

Life goes on………….

……… also continues in heaven. And he/she misses you too. But not always.

You ………. is just a thought away from you. When you think of him/her, he/she is close by again. Forever connected to you in your heart through LOVE.

 

Read the story :  Little Wolf's pouch

 

Little Wolf's Pouch – Ineke van Essen

Little Wolf kicked a pebble in front of him. He was in a very nasty mood. Didn't feel like doing anything. Doesn't feel like anything at all. There was a bustle around him in the Indian village where he lived. Everyone was busy preparing for that evening's buffalo feast. “Little Wolf, won't you help bake the cornbread?” the women shouted as he passed by. “Hey Little Wolf…..help me stack the wood…….”, shouted the boys who were busy building the big fires. It seemed like everyone was happy today. Well, but not him. Little Wolf really didn't feel like celebrating. He didn't feel like doing anything at all. And certainly not to be among those cheerful people. Little Wolf strolled to the river, kicking pebbles. Without thinking about it, he walked towards the great plain. Far from the sounds and laughter of the village.

Only when his feet started to hurt did he think he could rest against the trunk of an old tree. He closed his eyes and wished this day would be over soon. Little Wolf thought about the last buffalo festival, a year ago.

How different everything had been then... That was the most beautiful day Little Wolf could remember.

But yes, his father was still alive then.

 

Little Wolf felt tears sting his eyes when he thought of his father. As a result, he did not see a large bird of prey floating in the distance. It was a hawk, and they usually stay far away from villages and people. But this hawk flew straight to the tree that Little Wolf was sitting under, and perched on one of the branches above his head.

 

Little Wolf had seen nothing. He rubbed his eyes with his fists and was angry and sad at the same time. Why did his father, the sweetest father in the world, have to die? Why not someone else? Why not an old man who was not as special as his father and not as sweet and strong? Suddenly Little Wolf heard a voice. Little Wolf looked around in alarm. Had someone followed him? He saw no one. He was completely alone.

But again he heard a voice. “Little Wolf, what have you got in your pouch?

Little Wolf looked around again. But all he saw was a hawk in the branches above him. And surely hawks couldn't talk……….

When Little Wolf heard the same question for the third time, he hesitantly reached for his leather pouch. He always had it with him and in it, like every Indian, he kept everything that was important to him. It had been a long time since he had looked in his pouch.

 

He carefully untied the laces and slipped his hand into the pouch.

There was his father's photo. When his father was little, he was called Little Hawk, but people soon called him Whistling Hawk, because no one could play the flute as beautifully as he. Oh, Little Wolf would give anything to hear his father play just one more time. It seemed as if everyone was enchanted by the sound of his father's flute. Even the dogs forgot to bark. Little Wolf became proud again when he thought of him: his father…………….

 

Little Wolf was startled from his thoughts by the voice. He quickly looked up, but the hawk sat looking straight ahead, unperturbed. “What else is in your bag?” he heard the voice say. Little Wolf's hand felt the soft round stone he had once found with his father by the river. He looked at it with pleasant surprise. He had completely forgotten about that stone! He traced the circular lines across the stone with his finger and remembered his father saying, "Look, Little Wolf, these lines go on and on, round and round, there is no end to them. That's how it is." with life boy. Just remember that." It was as if Little Wolf heard the water in the river flowing again now that he had the stone in his hands, and as if he felt his father's big warm hand around his again.

 

"Is there more to it?" the voice asked. Little Wolf was now eagerly feeling his pouch for more. He took out a large oblong package, wrapped in deerskin.

 

Seeing what he had in his hands, he quickly put it back. No, not this, then he would probably cry again. Little Wolf felt further into the pouch. He found some eagle feathers and a drawing. He had collected the feathers together with his father. His father always knew exactly on which mountain ridge the eagles nested. How often they had lain together on their backs in the grass, watching the eagles circling against the blue sky, and how many stories his father had always told him. About the ancestors, and about Great Spirit. He would remember those stories well, Little Wolf thought, so that he could later tell them to his own children.

 

He took the drawing and saw that it was a wolf that his father had drawn for him. Little Wolf remembered how his father had sat him on his lap and said, “My son, never forget that you have the strength of a wolf. A wolf knows where to find knowledge and wisdom, and he is a great teacher. Sometimes you will experience things in your life that you do not understand.

Difficult things too. Sad things. But you can always ask your wolf for advice and strength. And the day will come when you will no longer be a Little Wolf, but people will call you Big Wolf, because you have experienced a lot and learned a lot that you can use to help other people understand the mystery of life." It seemed whether Little Wolf heard his father's voice again when he looked at the drawing. He didn't understand much of it, but he felt strong inside. "I am Little Wolf," he said out loud. "I am Little Wolf , the son of Whistling Hawk".

His hand in the pouch also felt the shell that his father had brought for him when he had once been to the ocean after a very long journey. Little Wolf had never seen the sea. But his father said that if you held the shell to your ear, you could hear the ocean far in the distance. Little Wolf held the conch to his ear and listened………..

 

"Do you hear that?" he shouted excitedly to the hawk. "Do you hear that!?" His wish seemed to be coming true. Little Wolf heard not only the sounds of the sea, but also his father's flute playing. Just for a moment, and then it stopped. But he had actually heard it! “Yes, you really heard it,” said the voice. "But there's still something in your pocket...".

"Yes, I know, but I don't want to see that now. Then I might have to cry and I don't feel like that. The voice said nothing more. Little Wolf felt in the now almost empty pouch and looked up hesitantly.

"I really don't want to." Again there was complete silence. "Alright then, just for a moment."

 

Very reverently he took the package in his hands and unwrapped the deerskin. And there he saw the beautiful crystal that his father had given him just before he left on his last journey, the journey from which he never returned alive. Whistling Hawk had given it to him, saying, "This crystal was given to my father by his father, and now the time has come for me to give the crystal to you. It will protect you when you are afraid." Little Wolf had immediately understood that this was not just any gift, but only now did he understand the value of this gift.

 

And he also understood why he had not wanted to take the crystal from his pouch. This had been the last gift his father had given him. A very last gift. A farewell gift. With the crystal against his forehead he dreamed away, and to his own surprise, Little Wolf did not cry at all, but felt completely happy.

 

Little Wolf was startled by the sound of flapping wings. The sun was almost setting... How long had he been sitting here? He jumped up and watched as the hawk flew around over Little Wolf's head, dropped a feather, and then disappeared into the distance. "Hi Hawk" he said softly to himself. "And thanks again!"

 

Then he put his things in the pouch as quickly as he could, put in his new treasure, the hawk feather, and ran back to the village. In the distance he heard all the laughter and music, and he saw the glow of the fires. In a moment he would sit around the fire next to his friends and family and eat the first buffalo meat. Little Wolf felt that it would be a completely different party than last year, but suddenly he was looking forward to it. He clutched his pouch and walked the last distance to the village, where he was waited for.

 

 

What is your fondest memory?

 

Thought stone Choose a crystalline stone that you like. You can put your fondest memory of ……… into the stone and take it with you with a nice thought in it. We'll put it in your treasury later.

You can also write down your most beautiful memory on colored paper, so that you don't forget it. (But you may also keep it a secret)

 

 

  

CRAFTING Making your treasure chest or memory box - treasures to keep forever!

 

Today we are going to make a treasure chest, a memory box for you……………

What would you like to keep in your treasury: …………………………………

 

 

 

 

and further we add:

the butterfly, or angel, or star, your mask, drawings, your little sun, care notes, shell, tears, a feather, your crystalline stone and fondest thought on paper, so that this thought is not forgotten, your personal  instructions for use.

Photos, maybe a necklace, or a note with handwriting, a piece of clothing, a scent, make-up, soap, what was ……… favorite food?, what music did ……… like, what kind of books did ……… read and what films did ………… like to watch?

 

 

And……… It never goes away! YOU ARE NEVER COMPLETELY FINISHED GRIEVING!

There always remains a bit of pain, a kind of scar. Sometimes you forget about scars and they don't bother you at all. But suddenly they can itch or hurt and you're dealing with them again. Or someone asks how you got that scar. At that moment you remember it too. You can then immediately feel the pain from that time again.

For example, if there is a play at school and your father, mother and grandmother can come and watch.

 

 

BUT THAT PAIN IS SLOWLY BECOMING…… MUCH LESS……….

 

 

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This is the end of DAY FOUR

 

Hand over the memory box with your sweetest smile.